previous reviews here.  it’s been so damn long since i wrote this shit up, i forgot what some of these movies were about!  actually that was just The Messenger.  i had to look that up again. 

Shutter Island (2010) – leo dicaprio and mark ruffalo in a martin scorsese film about two detectives looking for a missing inmate at an insane asylum.  sufficiently creepy, if a bit campy, and develops into something better than it starts out as.  not bad.  3.5 stars.

The Messenger (2009) – woody harrelson and ben foster are US Army soldiers tasked with notifying the next of kin when a soldier is killed on duty.  ben foster, who was pretty fun in a mediocre movie like 3:10 to Yuma is turning out to be pretty annoying.  2 stars.

Youth in Revolt (2009) – michael cera is his usual wispy, wimpy self pining for a cool girl when he develops a naughtily misbehaving alter ego named Francois in order to play in her league.  has a few fun and silly moments and really had the makings to be great but turned out average, not bad, just average.  3 stars. 

Summer Hours (2008) – juliette binoche.  french film about a family’s inner debate and its unintended consequences.  i’m beginning to notice the french technique of storytelling.  save the punchline for the very last scene, and don’t ever come out and verbally say what it is.  3.5 stars.

Mystery Team (2009) – donald glover’s film about three grown teenagers who behave like seven year olds playing detective in true scooby doo fashion.  if scooby doo had S&M and strippers, that is.  very silly, and at least a little bit fun.  3 stars.

Kick-Ass (2010) - you remember that trailer with the tiny girl dressed up as a superhero saying words like “cunt” and kicking all sorts of bad guy ass?  turns out the film is actually a coming-of-age story in disguise, and it’s not really her that’s coming of age.  after you get over the novelty of the kids in costume and the psychotic little girl, there’s enough story and character to fall back on to make it a whole movie.  3.5 stars.

RocknRolla (2008) -  guy ritchie film.  if you’ve seen one…  3.5 stars.

Chloe (2009) – julianne moore and, one of my favorites, amanda seyfried in a kind of romantic thriller by atom egoyan about a successful, happily married doctor (Moore) who hires a prostitute (Seyfried) to proposition her husband as a test of fidelity.  naturally things like this have no way to go but down.  while i love the idea of watching amanda seyfried have sex with another woman, the characters on display really didn’t do anything but repel me.  2 stars.

Hot Tub Time Machine (2010) -  four goof ball losers go back in time to do what every person in a movie time machine ever does: change the past with lessons learned to create a better future.  ho hum.  but craig robinson from The Office is really pretty hilarious as always as is Rob Cordry most of the time.  3 stars.

Greenberg (2009) – ben stiller in a noah baumbach film.  baumbach seems to relish in these really isolated, hateable characters who should draw no sympathy, but actually do even if it’s to the tiniest degree.  jeff daniels in The Squid and the Whale and nicole kidman in Margot at the Wedding.  it’s a real high-wire act trying to balance the assholery with some tiny speck of decency.  the only problem here is that i had a really hard time finding anything redeemable about Greenburg.  while that didn’t completely ruin the movie for me, i can’t say i enjoyed it a whole lot and i don’t foresee its future life in my memory being very long.  2.5 stars.

Ip Man (2008) – donny yen film about a legendary bad ass gentleman, kung fu master, Ip Man, who eventually taught bruce lee.  meh…  you have to appreciate the way kung fu fight scenes are choreographed almost like a ballet, and shot a step back, inclusive of the action, so you can actually see the fight.  but overall the movie lacked character, drama…  soul.  2 stars.

Terribly Happy (2008) -  swedish film about a city cop with a spotty past assigned to some backwater town.  never really achieves the creepy factor it was shooting for and relying on.  2 stars.

Casino Jack and the United States of Money (2010) – documentary about the notorious, conservative lobbyist jack abramoff and how he fleeced millions from native american tribes using his influence with the republican congress.  definitely creates some ick moments as the dirty dirty world of lobbying politics is brought to light, but for some reason i couldn’t keep my eyelids from drooping.  2.5 stars.

Ondine (2009) -  colin farrel in a neil jordan film.  farrel is a recovered alcoholic loser fisherman who hauls a mysterious girl out of the water in his fishing net.  does she have powers?  is she a mermaid?  farrell’s daughter seems to think so.  not a bad film, but could have been better if the daughter wasn’t a little too precocious.  still though, not a bad find for a film that no one’s ever seen nor heard of.  3 stars.

Inception (2010) -i love this movie.  leo dicaprio sneaks into people’s dreams and steals information.  extraction.  he’s offered a way back home if he can sneak into someone’s dream and do what was thought impossible: plant an idea.  inception.  it’s a sci-fi heist film and takes absolute giddy pleasure in laying out the rules of the world and the structure of the heist.  christopher nolan has said repeatedly that that’s what he considers the fun part of a heist film.  the explanation of the heist and the rules that they are bound by.  you can see that here, as there is so much to explain, but those parts seem to fly by.  people will talk about how this isn’t really an original film concept.  heist films are done so often they’re a genre unto themselves.  the dream infiltration thing has been done.  but maybe it just happens to be so cool this time that it seems new?  at least it’s not a sequel or a remake.  another thing is this film’s epic scale.  there’s no way you look at this script and think you can do it on the cheap.  it’s filmed in like 9898 countries using all sorts of physical effects and explosions and what not.  i think i read somewhere that that famous hallway fight scene was filmed in an actual rotating hallway constructed for this film!  gotta respect the balls to go ahead with a massive film like this.  everything else: the relationship between leo and his dead wife, the amazing score, the pacing, the actual inception (both of).  i loved all of it.  wtf happens to the spinning top?!  i don’t know yet, but it’s fun as hell trying to figure that out.  just more to chew on from this fantastically ambitious and fun film.  4.5 stars.

Never Let Me Go (2010) -keira knightley, andrew garfield and the amazing newcomer carey mulligan in the film adaptation of Ishiguro’s outstanding book of the same name.  not sure how much to let out of the bag, but i’ll say the very minimum.  these three are young teenagers/adults who grew up together at a special school that has a very specific purpose.  sorry, but i’m reluctant to say more.  (they’re ninja assassins!!!)  the actual specifics of their situation are fascinating on their own and make this a bona fide sci-fi film, even though there’s nary a laser beam to be found.  as with any sci-fi film though, the futuristic concepts are merely new mediums to address age-old issues like authority, the concept of inevitability, the meaning of humanity and human connections.  carey mulligan, who nearly single-handedly elevated last year’s An Education to a serious best picture contender, is amazing again.  i should warn that i loved the book, and can’t tell if i like the movie because i loved the book.  it’s hard to separate film from book when watching film after reading the book.  4 stars.

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (2010) -michael cera is a teenage indie rocker who has a hard time with girls who seem to flock to him and not let go.  he’s now in love with the mysterious Ramona Flowers, played by mary elizabeth winstead (who also played the cheerleader actress in tarantino’s Death Proof segment of Grindhouse.)  pretty.  in order to get her, he must defeat her Seven Evil Exes.  the film is based on a comic book series and created to look like a video game.  flashing lights and digital sound effects splash all over the place as scott pilgrim defeats boyfriend after boyfriend on his way to relationship enlightenment.  kieran caulkan is a nice suprise as scott’s roommate, but the real star here is the video arcade style of filmmaking that, you know, gets a little old after a while, but is still pretty fun and different and fits the story perfectly.  3 stars.  (i also found it HILARIOUS that the tiny asian girl in the film kept calling ramona flowers a fatass even though she’s nowhere near fat.  hahahahaha)

The Square (2008) – australian film.  a normal, suburban married man gets in over his head when plotting to run away with his mistress.  actually not bad.  can any good come from a situation like this?  not really, but how quickly and how badly things get makes for a compelling story.  3 stars. 

I Love You Beth Cooper (2009) – Heroes’ cutie cheerleader Hayden Panetierre plays…. the cheerleader beth cooper, love interest of the geeky valedictorian who confesses his love for her during his graduation speech.  i heard this was a good book.  too bad the movie isn’t more than predictable cliche.  2 stars.

The Runaways (2010) – kristen stewart, dakota fanning and michael shannon in this joan jett-produced biopic about the original girl rocker band The Runaways.  that sounds like a promising lineup but the characters and acting never rise above stereotypical cliches in this film exploding with them.  the acting talent alone should raise this movie to decent levels.  it’s too bad no one told michael shannon that everyone else was mailing in their performance as he was the only one to actually instill any life into his character.  there’s an engaging story in there.  they just overlooked it to produce this after-school special with electric guitars.  i like the songs though.  2 stars. 

MacGruber (2010) – SNL macguyer spoof brought to film life.  may it die a quick death.  i have a thing for kristen wiig though.  her comedy always comes from a place of damage and vulnerability.  she needs a hug.   2 stars.

The White Ribbon (2009) – german period piece about the children in a small town and their interaction with authority there.  the filmmaker said he was making a film about the birth of terrorism.  i don’t think i gave anything away there.  it definitely leaves something to think about, even if it was kind of boring in the middle there.  3 stars.

go watch Inception.

previous reviews here.

Old Partner (2009) – korean documentary about a very old, and old fashioned, farmer couple who have an unusually stubborn connection to the old ways and their pet ox.  a slow-paced but illuminating and endearing look at this old nagging couple and how society has left them behind.  all they have left is their farm and their faithful ox who’s been working with them for decades.  i thought it was a touching film and an acknowledgment of a large swath of korea that is being left in the dust by its hyper-modernization of the past two decades.  4 stars.

Good Hair (2009) – chris rock in this documentary about the idea of, participants in and the industry behind the ideal of “good hair” for black women.  chris rock interviews lots of people about this idea that kinky black hair is shunned and replaced by straight, wavy hair.  Rock asks leading questions and the people off the street, who are clearly giddy as shit to be on tv with chris rock, follow his lead and say whatever they think he wants them to hear.  all this is shabbily wrapped up by some boring narrative about some hair design contest.  it’s clear that chris rock meant this movie for one audience: black americans.  still, as a non-black american, i found it illuminating to see a glimpse of society that i don’t usually get a peek at and have to wonder about how the causes and effects of “good hair” can translate to other minority populations in america.  as a korean-american though, i feel slapped in the face at the film’s brief but lasting accusation against koreans without giving koreans any screen time like other groups were given.  no points for intellectual balance.  3 stars. 

Crazy Heart (2009) – jeff bridges is an old, washed-up, alcoholic country music star trying to make his way through his disappointing twilight years.  also starring maggie gyllenhaal and colin ferell.  jeff bridges won the best acting oscar for his portrayal of Bad Blake but i didn’t really think it was an awesome performance.  then again, i don’t remember any performances that i think got snubbed and a year is only 365 days.  a best acting oscar doesn’t mean “best actor of all time.”  the film was formulaic and a bit lacking in the development department, imo.  it wasn’t bad though and a good song at the end ties it all together.  3 stars.

Sherlock Holmes (2009) – robert downey jr. reprises his Tony Stark character except this time with a british accent.  i don’t really remember my childhood sherlock holmes pit fighting thugs for money, so that’s a new twist to the old dude, one that works, imo.  sherlock holmes has to solve the mystery of the dead man who has risen from the dead to terrorize london, all while dealing with his thinly veiled homo-erotic disappointment at dr. watson’s imminent marriage to some girl.  the normally radiant rachel mcadams was fairly wasted as the female interest; pity that.  the rest of the film though was a light and fun breeze.  completely entertaining if not deep and earth-moving.  it never really said it was trying to be deep nor earth-moving though, so it’s all good.  3.5 stars.

Tokyo Sonata (2008) – a japanese father of two is laid off from his corporate job and he has to learn how to deal with the shame of it all…  by hiding it.  the torture this guy goes through to hide his shame and the unspoken strength of his wife are both charming in a way.  the biggest story here though is that this totally decent film was somehow overlooked by japan when they were selecting their one pick for foreign language oscar.   (Departures, the ultimate oscar winner, kind of sucked, imo.  then again, Departures did win it, so wtf do i know?)  3.5 stars.

35 Shots of Rum (2007) – french film about a subway train operator, his daughter and the people around them.  really it’s about change and how we prepare for it and deal with it when it happens.  at least i think that’s what it’s about but who knows with these fucking french.  the father and daughter are completely charming as they act out their enviably cute relationship, and that’s what carries this film.  3.5 stars.

The Slammin’ Salmon (2009) – broken lizard.  michael clarke duncan  is the boxing champion-turned restaurant proprietor with about 84 screws loose who demands that his staff double their previous record for receipts this night.  hilarity ensues.  not really.  fans of broken lizard will have a few chuckles to burp up, mainly thanks to the completely violently unhinged performance of that man-beast michael clarke duncan, but the film ain’t no Super Troopers.  not even a Beerfest.  2.5 stars.

Red Cliff International Version (2008) – john woo’s epic chinese film about a historic battle at the end of the Han Dynasty starring tony leung and that other dude who has a japanese name but stars in all the chinese flicks.  apparently the condensed US version is spotty and hard to follow and not nearly as good as the five hour — repeat: five hour — international version.  that’s the one i saw, because that’s how i roll.  i set aside an entire saturday afternoon to watch this five hour behemoth.  it really is epic so it has that going for it at least.  and i didn’t find it hard to follow at all, so that’s another plus, i guess.  but seriously so disappointing.  the battle scenes were lame.  the acting and dialogue was sappy, cheesy and lame.  that respected frenemies theme that john woo made so cool in the 80s is just sappy, cheesy and lame now.  but, hey, it was epic.  2 stars. 

Flame and Citron (2008) – film about the Dutch resistance during WW2.  it’s not the typical WW2 film since the focus is mainly on the nazi infiltration in the netherlands, and not about the jews, so that’s a relief for this holocaust-fatigued film-viewer.  the focus is on these two assassins in the dutch resistance code-named Flame, for his red hair, and Citron, for his…  sour face?  *shrug*  who knows.  it tries to add a james bond badass element to the typical WW2 setting, which is an admirable goal, but i found the film a little too…  self-aware?  it tried to be too cool, too poignant, too heart-tuggy.  that self-awareness really bothered me throughout so i couldn’t take it seriously.  2 stars.

Air Doll (2009) – korean actress Bae Doo Na stars naked (again) in this japanese Pygmalion-with-a-twist film about a lonely middle aged japanese man whose sex doll comes to life while he’s away.  it’s a fun premise: this doll, who is used for sex by her owner, naively and innocently walks the world in full discovery mode.  the jumps from cute and innocent to dark and unhappy are rather abrupt though and render the film a little schizoid.  2.5 stars.

No One Knows about Persian Cats (2009) – iranian indie film about a thriving underground music scene in the famously oppressive society.  the love of music and yearning to get out and be free are jumping through the screen and that’s a relief.  the musician actors aren’t really actors, apparently.  they weren’t acting.  they were pretty much playing themselves trying to game the system and play some fucking music often at serious risk, and that was a great part of the movie.  it’s a close look at that part of Iran that people hope for but really have no evidence of: the young people that just want to fucking live.  that part is good.  as a film, on the other hand,  no bueno.  pretty terrible as a matter of fact.  it’s obvious the filmmaker felt more loyalty to all the many many different musicians he included in the film than the plot itself.  the result is a film that feels like a 90 minute, discombobulated, low quality music video.  so as a film i have to give it 1.5 stars.  still might be worth a look though just to kill some curiosity. 

Medal of Honor (2009) – romanian film.  a sad sack grandfather, living with his annoyed wife is told that he’s to receive a medal of honor for his role in the war, though he can’t remember what for.  the emotional and physical lengths this guy goes through to figure why he’s getting this medal and justify it to himself is a trip in itself — he’s a living trainwreck — , but the film pays off when he can finally present his new wares to his visiting son and grand son.  quite a interesting story.  3.5 stars.

With a Girl of Black Soil – korean art house film about a single coal miner living with his young daughter and retarded son when he’s laid off for medical reasons.  the film is a totally minimalistic look at the downward spiral of this simple man who lost his one anchor and can’t seem to get settled again.  slow and a little hard to watch, but it’s a solidly depressing look at life and how it sucks and in that suckiness some people try to be strong, though the results might not always be awesome.  3 stars. 

My Friend and His Wife – korean film.  happily married couple and their rich friend who lives in secret envy.  things end badly as expected, though much more badly by degree.  much more than i expected anyway.  the dramatic turns from happy to evil were completely out of touch and unrelateable.  typically korean level of overdoing it.  1.5 stars. 

Rough Cut (2008) -  korean film.  an actor who plays a gangster gets a real gangster to play in the movie with him.  the two rub off on each other and try out each other’s lives for a while.  it has elements of your typical gangster film, but it’s written by the captain of the korean art house: kim kiduk, so there is some depth to it.  amazingly, the film is loaded with dialogue, something kim kiduk’s films don’t have much of.  the film has fun cross-dressing the two characters and basically undressing the cad actor to his bareness.  i thought i was going to see some guys punch and kick each other but i ended up with a fairly decent journey of self-discovery.  3.5 stars.

it was bound to happen one of these days.  xanga has been blocked at work.

time to get a new job!

previous reviews here.

Precious (2009) – a poor, inner-city obese girl struggles to educate herself while dealing with a second pregnancy by her father and a mother who resents her and treats her like crap.  i imagine there’s a certain expectation when dealing with this theme of overcoming adversity, mainly that characters and situations are one-dimensional, predictable and unoriginal and it all leads to a hug yourself, stand-up-and-cheer type shmaltzy ending.  i thought this movie would be at least a little bit like that, and it is to a very small degree, but the fact that the main character is pregnant with her second child by her fucking father should have been some indication that this isn’t the typical pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps kind of film.  it’s a brutal film, to a gratuitous degree.  and, yes, it is a film about overcoming adversity, but it separates itself from lesser iterations of the form in three ways.  1.  the main character Precious has a real personality.  2.  this film creeps into all sorts of dark and unhappy places.  3.  it sets itself up to avoid any icky fairy tale feel.  i’ll spoil this one bit for you:  she doesn’t marry Richard Gere at the end.  i wasn’t really expecting to like this film very much, but i actually did for those reasons.  (and it’s easy to forget now that their names are always quoted with any mention of this film, but before Oprah and Tyler Perry picked this up, it was just a no name, ghetto, indie film doing the festival rounds.  kind of hard to believe how far it’s come.)  4 stars. 

Zombieland (2009) – woodey harrelson, jesse eisenberg, emma stone, abigail breslin.  strangers find common cause and good company with each other during the zombie apocalypse.  eisenberg seems to be relishing his status as the poor man’s Michael Cera.  woodey plays a fun wack job cuckoo for killing zombies.  this movie’s totally silly and not without a few surprise giggles.  i don’t think it’s going to burn itself into my library of quotable pop culture, but it ably served its entertainment purpose.  3.5 stars.

Ponyo (2009) – miyazaki.  typical deceptively intricate drawings of life in motion that is the standard of this living legend animator.  Ponyo is a fish in the sea who wants to become human after she falls in love with a human boy.  it’s all very Little Mermaid.  saccharine cute, and not quite into the emotional depths that miyazaki is capable of but Ponyo is still a very easily watchable addition to the Studio Ghibli library.  seriously Miyazaki can do no wrong.  3.5 stars. 

Bronson (2008) – based on the true story of Britain’s “most violent prisoner.”  this movie reminded me of A Clockwork Orange the way it completely embraced its protagonist’s psychotic nuttiness.  told from a first person point of view, it’s meant to draw a picture of someone so outrageously sociopathic he’s oddball funny, kind of like Alex in Clockwork Orange but without the nihilism.  what this film actually IS to me though is kind of tired.  there was no hook, for lack of a better explanation.  i didn’t like the character; i didn’t like the style; there was nothing to engage me.  i dozed off a few times while viewing.  1.5 stars. 

The Hangover (2009) – really?  this is what all that hype was about?  this is one of those examples of a film that ruined all its best parts by front-loading them into the trailer.  tiger in the bathroom, mike tyson, etc.  it’s a good enough example of a buddy flick though and wasn’t completely without merit.  on the contrary i thought it was entertainingly silly all the way through, if not hilarious.  3 stars. 

The Cove (2009) – there’s a secret cove in Japan apparently that’s closed off to all outsiders and is the scene of the slaughter of a gazillion dolphins per hour.  this film is an expose of that cove and the gruesome, bloody, dolphin carnage.  whether you agree with the film’s shrieking pro-animal rights stance and the cult-like reverence these people have for dolphins or not, the film has added dimensions that are definitely worth watching.  for starters, it’s part spy film.  these filmmakers (with a seemingly endless supply of cash from their billionaire producer) mount a spy surveillance operation worthy of Berlin circa Cold War and it’s all documented and presented thriller-style here.   that alone is fun enough to watch.  and if you’re into the politics, that’s just a bonus.  i will say one thing though, as someone who kind of disagrees with the politics here, it’s hard not to feel bad for the dolphins after watching this.  the filmmakers have gathered together a fairly powerful reel of footage and made the issue accessible to just about anyone willing to watch, so as a film i give it 4 stars.

Departures (2008) – japanese film about an out-of-work cellist who begins a new and secret life as a preparer of the recently departed.  this won the best foreign language film last year, and i have to wonder… WTF?!  this is a completely hyper-sentimentalized movie that takes itself way too seriously and doesn’t live up to its tear-jerky, heart-swelling aspirations.  it’s not an outright piece of garbage, as there were definitely some moments that i enjoyed and didn’t mind watching, but taking a step back and looking at it overall, the pieces don’t fit.  it had this annoying tendency to insert scenes that were so clearly designed to evoke some emotional response (sentimentality) without building them up properly leaving me with the uncomfortable feeling of barging in on someone sitting on the can.  2 stars. 

Mother (2009) – Bong Joon Ho’s latest film (The Host, Memories of Murder, Barking Dogs Never Bite) about a small town man who is mentally disabled — but not cripplingly so — and his relationship with his mother, all in the frame of a murder mystery.  as a mystery, this film flops, imo.  there are moments of suspense and revelation, but ultimately the mystery elements are weak, especially compared to the strength of the film, Bong Joon Ho’s strength, the sympathetic and detailed sketches of a nucleus of related people and the environment they live in.  he did this really well with the rural small town he created in Memories of Murder, just like he did with the small family he depicted in The Host.  watch it for the people.  screw the disappointing mystery.  3 stars.

A Prophet (2009) – french film about a young arab serving a six year prison sentence and how he handles his new life as a minority inmate in a violent prison.  it’s a frenchified film not made by Luc Besson so it lacks flair and sensational pizazz for the most part, but what it lacks in shininess it makes up for with visceral punch.  there were scenes where i felt claustrophobic just like those prisoners might feel in their cells.  the real gem in this memorable film though is the fascinating protagonist and his evolutions over his six year sentence.  a strong, engaging central character.  that’s all it takes, man.  4 stars.  in theaters now and well worth the effort. 

Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2009) – swedish film based on the best-selling book.  a magazine publisher is asked by a rich magnate to solve a forty year old murder mystery.  with the help of a young hard-around-the-edges computer hacking girl, the girl with the dragon tattoo, he dives deep into the murky and morally suspect world of the magnate’s family.  the whole is definitely not greater than the sum of its parts here.  there were individual pieces to like, but the film, as a construction of smaller pieces, fails to gel.  it takes way too long upfront (the total film is a long 2.5 hours.) to explain the premise and it left me at several points not following the characters’ emotions through this mystery.  there were moments when they were slack-jawed in horror/amazement, and i was feeling out in the cold wondering wtf the big deal was.  in this swedish film’s defense, there could have been a lot lost in translation.  what was fun and interesting though was the girl with the dragon tattoo herself.  moral, misunderstood, intelligent, bristling with violent energy and a total psycho.  i’d watch the sequels just to see where she ends up.  2.5 stars. 

from chud.com.  (link to original) 

thought this was interesting. 

THE DEVIN’S ADVOCATE: KEVIN SMITH MAKES BAD MOVIES, HATES CRITICS

by Devin Faraci

I’ll probably never review another Kevin Smith movie. At least I won’t if the filmmaker has his way; burned by the response to his rancid film Cop Out, Smith had a blow up on his Twitter feed and ended up saying he doesn’t want critics seeing his films for free any more.

Here’s the complete tirade:

(1/5) @coked_up_jesus “I gotta say that every day I hate film theory & film students & critics more & more. Where is the fun in movies?” Sir

(2/5) sometimes, it’s important to turn off the chatter. Film fandom’s become a nasty bloodsport where cartoonishly rooting for failure gets
about 14 hours ago via web

(3/5)the hit count up on the ol’ brand-new blog. And if a schmuck like me pays you some attention, score! MORE EYES, MEANS MORE ADVERT $.
about 14 hours ago via web

(4/5) But when you pull your eye away from the microscope, you can see that shit you’re studying so closely is, in reality, tiny as fuck.
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(5/5) You wanna enjoy movies again? Stop reading about them & just go to the movies. It’s improved film/movie appreciation immensely for me.
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Seriously: so many critics lined-up to pull a sad & embarrassing train on #CopOut like it was JenniferJasonLeigh in LAST EXIT TO BROOKLYN.
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Watching them beat the shit out of it was sad. Like, it’s called #CopOut ; that sound like a very ambitious title to you? You REALLY wanna
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shit in the mouth of a flick that so OBVIOUSLY strived for nothing more than laughs. Was it called “Schindler’s Cop Out”? Writing a nasty
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review for #CopOut is akin to bullying a retarded kid who was getting a couple chuckles from the normies by singing AFTERNOON DELIGHT.
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Suddenly, bully-dudes are doing the bad impression of him, using the “retart” voice. The crowd shifts uncomfortably. #IfOnlyDaltonWasHere
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And you may impress a couple of low IQ-ers who’re like “Yeah, man! Way to destroy that singing retart!” But, really? All you’ve done is make
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fun of something that wasn’t doing you any harm and wanted only to give some cats a some fun laughs. #YesIcomparedMyFlickToARetardedKid
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It was just ridiculous to watch. That was it for me. Realized whole system’s upside down: so we let a bunch of people see it for free & they
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shit all over it? Meanwhile, people who’d REALLY like to see the flick for free are made to pay? Bullshit: from now on, any flick I’m ever
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involved with, I conduct critics screenings thusly: you wanna see it early to review it? Fine: pay like you would if you saw it next week.
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Like, why am I giving an arbitrary 500 people power over what I do at all, let alone for free? Next flick, I’d rather pick 500 randoms from
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Twitter feed & let THEM see it for free in advance, then post THEIR opinions, good AND bad. Same difference. Why’s their opinion more valid?
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It’s a backwards system. People are free to talk shit about ANY of my flicks, so long as they paid to see it. Fuck this AnimalFarm bullshit.
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I get why the guy would be hurt; despite downplaying the importance of critics later in his feed (saying that only Janet Maslin was really important to his career), Smith’s always been a filmmaker buoyed by the critics. He certainly isn’t a populist filmmaker, considering that until Cop Out he never made a movie that earned more than 32 million dollars. Let’s put it this way – There Will Be Blood, a difficult, arty film that doesn’t appeal to the mainstream on any level, made more money than any Kevin Smith film until Cop Out. It’s naive of Smith to say that Clerks, which made less then 4 million dollars in theaters, wasn’t helped by critics. If Clerks had been ignored by the critical establishment there would have been no further Kevin Smith movies.

But the fact that I get where he’s coming from doesn’t make his statements any less pathetic, whiny or ignorant. He’s staked out a position in the very stupid section of the film world, and I’m sure there are lots of very stupid people who will agree with what he says. The reality here is that Kevin Smith sees no value in film as art – especially his own films. It’s almost shocking to read a director comparing his latest film to a retarded child; I know that Smith had problems making the film, problems which could have soured him on it to an extent, but to get so riled up about a movie that he himself is discounting is beyond strange.

Smith’s tirade represents the cancer that has been killing movie fandom for decades now. The 70s represented not just a high point for filmmaking but for film watching – it was a time when people believed that movies mattered, that beyond being entertaining movies could be at the center of our culture and could say things about us. That opinion has rolled back over the decades, and while cinema is a major economic force in entertainment, it feels more and more distanced from the heart of the culture. Instead of directing the culture cinema seems to reflect it.

Part of what happened in the 70s was that people realized that all movies had value, and critics stopped being just consumer reporters and turned into scholars and historians. Coolest of all was a rethinking of genre films, with directors who made very mainstream, populist films getting finally recognized as masters of the art. But it seems like there was a backlash to this, to the idea of the smart people appropriating the popular entertainment, and after that heady decade critical cinematic thinking fell out of favor. In its place was the mantra of the dumb fanboy: turn off your brain. It’s the thing I hate most*, and I’ve railed against it before. Now Smith has decided to become the personification of it.

Obviously Kevin Smith isn’t the only director in Hollywood who thinks his own movies are lightweight piffles. There are lots of middle of the road directors who just work and who are happy to make movies that hit all the quadrants on the demographics sheet. There are plenty of directors out there who have no illusions about what they’re making. But they’re not Kevin Smith -  they don’t have passionate fanbases, and they didn’t begin as darlings of the indie film scene. That’s why it’s so sad to read Smith discounting his own work in that way – some of us were around in 1994 and remember when it looked like Clerks was the vanguard of a new cinema.

It’s still sad to see Smith stand so adamantly on the side of the stupid, though. It’s sad to see him ask why critics are more qualified to judge movies than random fans on his Twitter feed; Smith, a completely amateur filmmaker, has bought into the myth of the amateur being equal to the professional. Obviously not every single film critic in America is a professional, or all that knowledgeable, but plenty are. An understanding of film, of filmmaking and of critical thought is what makes a film critic more qualified to judge movies than a random guy from Smith’s Twitter feed. If Smith was decrying the debasement of film criticism through an inundation of morons with Blogspot accounts I’d be right there with him. But he’s painting everybody in film criticism with the First Showing brush.

The other stupidity trap into which Smith falls is the belief that just because something doesn’t try very hard you shouldn’t judge it very hard. It’s part of that ‘turn your brain off’ crap – simply evoking a couple of chuckles is, apparently, enough. Never mind the fact that Cop Out does not evoke any chuckles at all – it’s arrogant for a director think that it’s okay to foist a film on the public that even he doesn’t find all that great. If Smith doesn’t want to be judged on a filmmaking level let’s judge him on a sheer consumer level – does he really believe that Cop Out, a retarded child of a film, is worth a full price admission at a movie theater? Middling movies happen all the time – hell, we’re running a list about them right now – but you would hope that a director would put as much work into the film as he would into tirades defending it from critics.

I feel like it’s now okay to dismiss Kevin Smith. He’s given us permission. He’s said that he’s not making good films, or even films that really try very hard. And in many ways he’s probably doing critics a favor by keeping them out of screenings; now they’ll have two more hours to spend doing something important. I expect Smith fans will show up here eventually to berate me, but these people seem to be even more dismissable than Smith himself – at least he’s getting paid to be bad at what he does. The Smith fanbase is made up of people who don’t just consume subpar movies, they revel in them. These people are hardcore fans of stuff that even the guy who makes it says isn’t very good.

Fifteen years ago I thought Kevin Smith was the voice of a generation. It turns out he is – the generation just happens to be lazy, stupid people who are perfectly content going through life without an original, interesting thought in their heads.

* just because I need to explain this every time: not every movie needs to be a deep and spiritual or intellectual experience. Movies can be dumb and still be great. What movies shouldn’t be is background noise. The ‘turn off your brain’ contingent are about movies that don’t engage on any level, that require no participation from the viewer, and that disappear completely from your mind the moment the credits roll. That’s Muzak.

I normally enjoy live blogging the oscars but I decided to attend an Oscar watch party this year, which is fun but too bad since I like going back and reading a written record of the night celebrating the thing I love so much: film.

All ihave now is this little iPhone. Difficult to function normally online.

Btw anyone else think Inglourious Basterds got robbed for screenplay?

Oh and again Penelope Cruz is one of the classiest looking beauties out there tonight.

Update: 8:05
Hurt Locker stealing all these lower awards. Possibly a set up for disappointment on the major awards? Hope not.

Update 8:46
I am calling it now. Kathryn bigelow takes best director. Lock it up.

previous reviews here.

A Single Man (2009) – colin firth, julianne moore.  this is fashion designer Tom Ford’s first feature film, and he makes it pretty clear that a good eye is a good eye no matter what media you choose to dabble in.  the movie does indeed look great.  i’m just not so sure Ford thought of much else when making this film.  it’s about a college professor’s (colin firth) six foot depression after the accidental death of his lover.  each shot looks meticulously prepared and a little bit gorgeous, but i question some scenes and shots that i thought, while looking nice, didn’t really contribute to the overall narrative, but rather dragged it down.  was that series of slow-mo shots really necessary?  was that character really necessary?  the clincher was the truly cringe-worthy performance by one of the professor’s students.  next to the presence of Colin Firth’s not insignificant talent, it looked like amateur hour to a laughable degree.  seriously, it was kind of like watching Mike Tyson fight a penguin or something.  thankfully Firth, along with the film’s sizable visual aesthetic, rescue this from being a total disaster.  2 stars. 

Paris, Texas (1984) – a Wim Wenders film.  i’m not really sure what possessed me to queue this one up after i was so disappointed with Wings of Desire and not completely impressed with Don’t Come Knocking, but i did, and i’m glad for it.  it’s about a guy who was lost for four years, and is discovered wandering in the desert.  the next 2.5 hours is about the road he travels, literally and figuratively, from that point.  details are revealed in slow, careful increments following his footsteps as he tries to repair himself and the mess he left behind.  this is definitely not a melodrama; it’s not the type to jump out at you in any cheap way.  and it’s certainly a slow, long movie meant only for people who deliberately sought it out.  but, to me, this portrait of this man and his progression from the darkness is an example of the art of filmmaking.  4 stars.  

Daytime Drinking (2008) – korean film about the futility of alcohol enabled escapism.  at least that’s what i think the film was about anyway.  it’s actually about a guy getting over a recent breakup on a trip to the countryside to eat and drink and be merry with friends when basically everything that can go wrong does.  it’s not as funny as i thought it wanted to be, nor was it as insightful or well laid out.  2 stars. 

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (2009) – an inventive dork discovers a way to make it rain food.  this film has a great, silly sense of humor.  look for a side of Mr. T you’re not used to seeing.  not much more to say about this one…  3 stars. 

Bright Star (2009) – Jane Campion’s (The Piano) film about the love affair between Romantic poet John Keats and Fanny Brawne.  this film was highly regarded on the festival circuit and was even nominated for several major film awards though i’m not quite sure why.  it takes for granted that some kind of love is tangibly evident on screen. sorry but i need a little more than actors in long, silent poses, staring off into space to get my love cockles up and flaring.  not sure if it’s the actors or the direction, but i never really felt any chemistry or any anima to indicate that these two wooden blocks were capable of any emotion at all.  naturally, in a love story, if that doesn’t work, everything else suffers.  2 stars. 

Big Fan (2009) – written by Robert Siegel (The Wrestler).  Patton Oswalt plays a total loser, 40-ish-year-old rabid fan of the NY Giants.  given The Wrestler credentials, i expected a deep, dark drama about some flawed but relateable characters.  instead i got a dark drama about a wacko who’s completely detached from the planet earth.  while i don’t doubt that insane sports fans like this exist, i do find this portrait of one hard to sympathize with and easy to ridicule.  Patton Oswalt does a great job as the uber-loser fan, but really his character needed a little something more going for him.  overall, not a bad movie, just hard to watch.  3 stars. 

Ballast (2008) – Sundance award winner.  two mutually exclusive halves of a poor man’s life are brought together by his death.  filmed with a decidedly european feel.  its lack of production effects give it that raw french feel like in L’Enfant (The Child) or, as a film reviewer rightly pointed out, like some of the romanian films coming out.  no real lighting to speak of.  handheld cameras.  it follows that style, but didn’t really create as much impact for me, which isn’t to say it’s bad.  it’s all just real drama slowly peeling itself off in layers.  if you’re into recent french films not made by Luc Besson, you might like this one.  if not, you probably won’t.  3 stars. 

Mean Girls (2004) – a little late coming, but i finally got around to watching this one after being motivated by my appreciation for 30 Rock, also written by Tina Fey.  meh…  i didn’t think it was nearly as funny as i was hoping it would be.  i thought teenagers being catty and brutal to each other would be right up Tina Fey’s alley for some reason.  guess not.  love that extended rachel mcadams scream though.  she was such a great bitch.  (btw a friend of mine met Rachel McAdams on the set of State of Play and said she “is a sweetheart.”)  3 stars. 

Moon (2009) – Sam Rockwell is the lone operator of a mining rig on the moon.  he’s finishing up a three year stint — alone — on the moon when he has an accident and shit gets a little weird for the poor dude.  this movie really struck me as a great example of a good, simple idea, executed very well.  it wasn’t really a very ambitious film, imo.  it could easily have been a play on one stage.  but it took its one idea and carved itself into a crafty little present.  good pace, excellent performance by sam rockwell, great composition and use of music, very careful about what to reveal and when, etc.  just a solid, tight little film here.  4 stars. 

Yi Yi (2000) – Taiwanese filmmaker Edward Yang’s critically lauded film that landed on a few Best Films of the Decade lists.  it’s an expansive snapshot of this one family as it navigates through several turbulent episodes.  never really getting into the face of its characters, the film observes from a step back and gets the wide-angle inclusiveness that’s necessary, but sometimes neglected.  when this film ends, you really get a sense that you know all the major characters and their relationships with each other.  4 stars. 

Role Models (2008) – paul rudd, sean william scott.  two guys are assigned to a big brother type youth organization to work out their court sentence or have to go to jail.  it’s the typical wise-cracking film its trailer looks like, except for one thing.  there were a few laugh-out-loud moments for me (rare) and the script was actually pretty witty the way it poked fun at pretty much everyone.  oh, don’t get me wrong; it’s totally a formula film, but still, in between the plot elements, there’s some fun dialogue.  and a hilarious little kid.  a high 3 stars. 

as i sat here looking through movie lists and writing them down, separating the good from the bad, the awesome from the good, i couldn’t help but be very thankful for this great batch of films.  i’m shaking my head at how many really great, fun movies, are not on my Top 10 list, films that would be shoo-ins in any other year.

take Up for example.  this was a fantastic movie that had me near tears at several points.  and Fantastic Mr. Fox, such a cute and silly movie that i giggled endlessly through.  neither are among my ten favorite films of the year.  but i still love them. 

An Education was as good a coming-of-age film i’ve ever seen with a jewel of a performance by newcomer Cary Mulligan.  i thanked the mob movie gods that they sent us Gomorrah, an entirely new and quietly merciless take on the traditional theme of the influence of organized crime.  the first thirty minutes or so of The Brothers Bloom were near perfect filmmaking, imo.  as a viewer, i couldn’t ask for more. 

before i get into my ten favorite films of 2009, let me mention some other no-shows.  the critics’ darling Up in the Air is a good movie, no doubt, but enjoying far too much celebration, imo.  it’s not worthy.  Watchmen, an under-appreciated film that was nevertheless doomed from the start by at least one terrible actor in a major role.  The Road, successful in its purpose but ultimately couldn’t hang with the big boys this year.

(i haven’t seen Precious yet.)

10.  Away We Go – kind of a surprise on a top ten list, and i admit this film was on the bubble, but i can’t deny the collective charm of john krasinki and maya rudolph together in what turned out to be a film with a ten ton heart.  

9.  Funny People – this might also be a surprise, and was also on the bubble for the top ten, but i thought the complexity of the characters and the overall realness (though fake) of the characters made this a totally enjoyable film, as long as you don’t expect the usual Judd Apatow silliness.  this is a real drama. 

8.  Avatar – storytelling and characters notwithstanding, this film was just good fun to watch.  160 minutes blew by and i was sure at the end of it that i just saw something grand. 

7.  District 9 – first, we have to applaud the production of some new and creative material and, second, we have to cheer at just how fun it turned out to be.  the blend of styles and the loveable loser, Wickers, in this entertaining sci-fi is worthy of every ounce of praise it’s been getting.

6.  Moon – did you know this was conceived and directed by David Bowie’s son?  his name is Duncan Jones and we should remember that because he’s a talent.  a quiet, concept-heavy sci-fi film, this film is the other end of the sci-fi spectrum from a film like Avatar, and, as you can see by it’s placement at #6, i thought it was a damn good film. 

5.  (500) Days of Summer – definitely not the ditzy rom-com it might look like.  the story and the filmmaking both offer something new (or what seems like something new) to appreciate in this dead horse genre. 

4.  Inglourious Basterds – only Tarantino can make 2+ hours of straight dialogue so damn entertaining. 

3.  In the Loop – hear that sound?  that’s my residual laughter since this summer when i saw this film. 

2.  The Hurt Locker – that nytimes quote on the movie poster says it all, “Ferociously Suspenseful”.  hooray for an Iraq film that’s not message-heavy.  hooray for a film that doesn’t have all the answers.  hooray for a filmmaker that knows how to create things like tension, fear and, again, suspense.  those things don’t grow on trees, you know.

1.  Where the Wild Things Are – i’m not sure a single film has ever drawn such an extended and pronounced emotional response from me, which is what i’m pretty sure they set out to do when they made this film.  it seems to have fallen off most radars, but i still remember this as one of my favorite films of the past several years. 

previous reviews here.

Sunshine Cleaning (2008) – amy adams, emily blunt, alan arkin.  a struggling single mother finds a new niche for her house cleaning career: cleaning up crime scenes.  watch it for the extremely charismatic cast more than anything else.  it’s light hearted for the most part and emily blunt’s character arc hints at some deeper (more interesting) stuff, but not enough imo.  still the film isn’t terrible by any means — mainly due to the latent watchability of the three main actors, like i mentioned — and might be pleasantly surprising if you have low expectations and didn’t go out of your way to see it.  3 stars. 

Aguirre: The Wrath of God (1972) – legendary filmmaker Werner Herzog’s signature film.  german period piece set in south america.  a spanish warrior suffers delusions of grandeur after he commandeers a river expedition.  quite frankly…. meh.  while it’s shot gorgeously in the wild jungle, the character development is annoyingly disjointed.  the existence of the far superior Apocalypse Now renders this film completely useless.  2 stars. 

State of Play (2009) – russel crowe, rachel mcadams, ben affleck.  affleck is a war hero congressman trying to de-stinkify the shit blanket he’s under after his female staffer is found dead.  crowe and mcadams are reporters following the shit stink to the very end.  it’s based on a british mini-series that possibly should have stayed that way.  it’s an intriguing story involving politics, scandal, the free press, etc. that seems worthy of some extended treatment.  i’m naturally inclined to like stories like this, especially when Tony Gilroy is involved with the writing, so for my personal entertainment factor i’ll give it a 3.5, but as a film, i’m not sure it’s more than an average 3 stars.  btw, Robyn Wright Penn also stars and i’m happy to note that the princess bride appears to be aging extremely gracefully.  she’s still damn pretty while not hiding her age. 
 
Up (2009) – grumpy old man, boy scout, flying house, etc.  the scenes leading up to and including the montage in the beginning are so well defining and touching.  i’m not sure i’ve seen a more economical fifteen minutes in any other movie this year.  by the end of the montage, which is still well in the beginning of the film, i already felt like i knew the character and wanted to give him a hug.  but the film doesn’t end there, thankfully.  adventure is the best aspect of some films, but it was actually the filler here, imo.  talking dogs and little fat kids are fun, but not awesome like the emotional scene towards the end where i very nearly lost my shit in explosive fashion.  again, hooray for kid movies that don’t condescend.  4 stars. 

Inglourious Basterds (2009) – brad pitt leads a band of jewish american soldiers whose prime directive is to kill nazis mercilessly and in the most gruesome manner possible.  their plan to assassinate the nazi hierarchy unknowingly dovetails with the plans of a jewish french theater owner who seems to have plans along the same design.  tarantino is the king of dialogue.  he writes fun dialogue and he coaches his actors to deliver it entertainingly.  those two skills are the bada and the bing to his brand of awesome filmmaking.  don’t be fooled here by the precedent and the ads.  this is NOT a bang-bang, shoot em up WW2 film.  it is almost entirely scenes of dialogue that skillfully wind moments of suspense like a spring, building a movie with snare drum’s tension.  no one but tarantino could have made this film.  4 stars. 

Extract (2009) – jason bateman, mila kunis, ben affleck.  made by mike judge who also made Office Space and the criminally unknown Idiocracy.  jason bateman owns a food flavoring company that is being victimized by the opportunistic thief played by the oh-so-hot mila kunis.  decent movie but didn’t move me either way.  i’m sure i’ll forget about it completely in a few weeks.  2.5 stars. 

World’s Greatest Dad (2009) – robin williams stars in this movie made by bobcat goldthwait (remember him?).  this film caught me by surprise in a good way because it’s been a while since i’ve seen a dark comedy done this well.  robin williams plays a high school teacher/failed writer/dad whose teenage son is a complete and total worthless, perverted (yet very funny) asshole.  can’t say much more about the plot without spoilers, but suffice to say that it walks that fine line between comedy and brutality very well and even wraps it up with a strong ending.  3.5, or maybe 4 stars. 

A Christmas Tale (2008) – french film about a dysfunctional family reunion.  the mother needs a bone marrow donor and the excommunicated son is one of the only available matches.  very typical family reunion type film with the bickering and drama, but this one stands out because of the casually honest, vicious and strangely benevolent way they all speak to each other, which makes for some pretty endearing entertainment.  it’s not often — even in a film about a dysfunctional family — where the mother tells her son that she never really liked him, and i’m not really sure if she’s joking or not.  3 stars. 

Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009) – wes anderson’s latest film based on Roald Dahl’s (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) book.  a middle-aged fox is reliving his youth stealing from his human neighbors.  all that quirky charm that’s trademark wes anderson is in full display here without any of the distracting schizophrenic deviations.  the stop-motion animation is deceptively functional and detailed.  (you can see the chests of some characters rising and falling as they stand there breathing.)  it’s also very cute to look at.  in fact, cute is a good word to describe the whole production straight down to the music and voice acting that has an adept’s ear for comedic timing.  it’s a cute, funny, quirky movie, which is exactly what i expect from wes anderson.  4 stars. 

An Education (2009) – an over achieving, sheltered high school student and her family are bedazzled by her older, wealthy boyfriend.  written by Nick Hornby.  set in 1960s england, this film starts out with a fantastically smart and charismatic character and ends up with a strong social critique.  carey mulligan, apparently england’s katie homes lookalike, is quite engaging as the oxford-bound jenny who gets blinded by the posh life she’s not leading.  her character is a refreshingly mature film teenager though not unrealistically so, and managed to trap my attention throughout mainly just by being a curious yet decent person.  a rarity?  i’d be interested to see how women react to this film, written by a man, about a young girl.  this film was exceptionally written and acted well, which is all it set out to do.  4 stars. 

Up in the Air (2009) – george clooney, vera farmiga, anna kendrick.  clooney travels around the country as a mercenary hired to fire people.  he’s a master road warrior who prefers being alone on an airplane over being on the ground complicated his life with messy stuff like human interaction.  old age, a threat at work and a road love interest all conspire to make him reconsider his life of clean, simple solitude.  from the word Go, you know this is a message movie.  it’s all too familiar not to be.  or is it?  if so, what’s the message?  even though it’s a perfectly capable, entertaining movie, it’s not the “awesome” film many critics are describing it as.  good, not great.  mainly because the vast bulk of the film isn’t all that new or insightful even though it really wants to be.  i still think it had some balls though and recommend it, with lowered expectations.  3.5 stars. 

Avatar (2009) – previous thoughts here.  4 stars. 

The Road (2009) – viggo mortenson, charlize theron, some kid.  the earth is scorched, there is no civilization and the soil doesn’t seem to yield any fruit.  viggo walks the land with his son, trying to fend for the kid, while instructing the kid to kill himself if he ever died.  that’s the kind of movie it is.  bleak.  every ounce of it.  bleak and grimy seems to be director john hillcoat’s specialty after the especially dirty looking The Proposition.  he does it exceptionally well here because viggo looks like a fucking strung out crackhead.  you could probably say that for the earth in this film too.  it looks like a fucking strung out crackhead.  hillcoat makes you feel it too, from the torn shoes and constant cold to the hordes of roaming cannibals that are constantly hunting for new food.  the world isn’t a pretty place, but what an ideal situation for a little bit of goodness to shine.  viggo’s abundant love for his son, strong enough to save the last bullet for his son in case the shit really hits the fan.  cormac macarthy’s book was apparently written in dedication to his son, an expression of love in the only way he knows how.  4 stars.