April 28, 2009

• i think most signs point to now being an ideal time to buy my first house.  prices are dropping, mortgage rates are low, plenty of tax incentives, especially since i would be a first-time borrower, etc.  it’s a practical financial decision to make, a prudent investment assuming i can get approved for a loan.  i fucking hate the idea of throwing money away on rent instead of building up equity with it, and the tax break on mortgage interest is incredibly appealing.  all signs point to “buy”, nay?

  it’s so simple but this decision is sending my mind in all sorts of weird places, almost as a necessity to decide whether to buy or not.  i have to resolve certain questions first like do i really want to live here for the next ten or so years?  away from my family and most of my closest friends?  i reckon i could live without them nearby if i had a legitimate shot at getting married to a girl here and starting a family of my own. 

  (this is a great area to raise a family, btw.  stable metro area, with a nice suburb and an excellent school system.  i can’t tell you where “here” is though.)

  but let’s get real here.  there’s no girl on the radar here and therefore no family.  i know it doesn’t work like this but if i look at meeting the right girl as a progressive development, i’d be at square one with no accumulated progress.  no dating.  no potentials.  barely even anyone of interest, to be honest.  and i can’t really count on The One just appearing in my life and being readily available and noticed as such by me.  which leaves me with pretty much nothing but waiting to win the girlfriend lottery.

  so i guess the next possible alternative is to move to another area altogether.  but is it too late to move?  i’m pretty old and picking up and spreading new roots right now seems kind of desperate and very much like an effort to try to fool myself into thinking that the grass actually is a little greener on the other side.  i’m pretty dug in here.  and would it actually be better in a new place or are all places inherently similar thereby making me the incompatible piece in this equation?  there’s really no guarantee that i am not the source of my problems, and moving to another city might just be a risky, expensive and ultimately futile attempt to run away from me and my head.

  hey, LA!  should i move there?  i know very few people there, but my family kind of lives around there, and my parents are getting older.  i really should try to be around them more.  and i do love the ridiculously awesome korean food there.  how much happier would i actually be there though, if at all?  i’ll tell you what though, LA.  your system of state government scares the shit out of me.  voting on propositions is no way to run a government, and i wouldn’t be surprised if the whole state of california turns into a giant civil war zone or a ward of the federal government in ten years. 

  and what say you, NJ?  the state of my youth.  should i run back to you?  even though everything tells me that a new life there would in no way resemble the life i had there back then?  NYC?  nick and norah’s infinite playlist made you look pretty cool, NYC, but i’m too fucking old to slum it out like some poor waiter/actor waiting for a break and i don’t make nearly enough money to live like a baller.

  so anyways, yeah.  renting sucks. 

  • 10:20 am
  • 7 Comments