December 22, 2008

• since i still xanga from work and i can’t really open up the page with giant pictures of Charlize Theron, Jennifer Connelly and especially that neck-breaking, sizzling hot pic of Monia Bellucci i have to post a really long post so that those pics can scroll down the screen.  so here comes a lot of randomness. 

  first.  in response to my post of the beautiful women in my mind’s eye, sue_shi was asking me which guys i think are hot.  she even suggested i make a similar list of hot men.  silly girl.  that’s gay!  actually i was more game for that idea than i thought, even thinking of when would be a good time to hunt for pictures of these hot men for me to post.  (btw, putting together that last post of hot women?  the worst time ever.  who likes the idea of looking at pages and pages of google links of pictures of the hottest women on the planet?  what a pain.  )  in any case, i need a post now, and i don’t have any other xanga topic to think of, and i can’t go snooping around Google Images for pictures of my idea of hot men, so you ladies will have to live without the pictures and just use your imagination.  you have Google.  look them up yourself, and save me whatever tiny sliver of public masculinity i have left. 

  so, here’s a list of this one heterosexual man’s idea of the Handsome Men.  taunts of gayness be damned.  in no particular order.  (btw, putting together my list of hot women wasn’t all that difficult but ranking them, on the other hand, was indeed a strenuous activity.  there was never any question that Charlize Theron would be my #1 straight from the get-go.  i simply love that woman.  Charlize was an easy #1 until i looked up that picture of Monica Bellucci and my eyes nearly popped out of their fucking sockets.  not only that picture but like EVERY picture of Monica on the internet ranks at least a 9.8 on the Shortness of Breath factor.  so hot…  but still… could i really ever consider demoting Charlize?  the lovely Charlize?  it might kill me in the end, but no, i could not.  Monica would have to suffer #3 if only for Charlize and Jennifer Connelly.  and that’s pretty much how the rest of the ranking went for every fucking gorgeous woman on that list of gorgeous women.  it was torture, i tell you.  i love them all.)

  George Clooney
  Johnny Depp
  the late Gregory Peck
  the late Paul Newman
  a young Robert Redford
  Robert Downey Jr.
  Jake Gyllenhaal
  Josh Duhamel
  Hugh Jackman
  Jude Law
  Clive Owen
  Patrick Wilson
  Pierce Brosnan
  Tyrese Gibson

  so putting together this list of men is turning out to be a lot harder than i originally thought.  there’s a major switching of gears involved here, because when i think of the best men, i am tuned to think of their acting ability and the kinds of characters they played.  a studly role will add a lot to a guy’s attractiveness, i guess?  or maybe not?  Die Hard’s John Mclain is a pretty manly role, but would i consider Bruce Willis one of the hottest men?  no, not really.  Ben Affleck is a shit actor, but is he good looking?  yes.  but on my list of hot women, i’m not sure half of them are good actors.  Natalie Portman is a shit actor.  so is Jessica Alba.  yet there is no question that they are pretty hot women and belong on a list of hot women.

  so, what say you, women?  is this list similar to your list? 

  notable absences:

  from my list of women, you might notice that Scarlett Johanson and Liv Tyler are not present.  i considered Scarlett Jo but decided to leave her off because i couldn’t really categorize her and honestly, sometimes she just doesn’t do it for me.  i regret this decision, because she is pretty at the least and sometimes very hot to me.  i don’t  know what i was thinking.  she should have made the cut.  Liv Tyler was just a case of me forgetting about her otherwise she would have been a shoo-in for at least the third list, probably even the second. 

  from the men, i am noticably leaving off Christian Bale.  that’s not an error.  and Matt Damon.  and Leo Dicaprio. 

  ok, enough of that.

  ****

  have you guys been following the case of this florida woman under arrest for murdering her daughter, Caylee Anthony?  normally, i hate the media saturation of these select criminal cases that achieve celebrity status, like Drew Peterson… or was that Scott Peterson or something or other.  the missing white girl in Aruba or some shit whatever.  who knows.  it’s all voyeuristic and very racist (and sexist!), as it’s almost always involving some pretty white damsel in distress.  anyway, this case of Caylee Anthony is fucking disturbing to me.  this mother, who looks younger than most of us, lost her kid then apparently went out partying, got a tattoo, etc.  now they found a human infant skull in the woods near this accused girl’s parents’ house and positively identified the skull as the baby daughter’s.  i can’t not read news about this story for some reason because it pisses me off.  i want to punch this fucking girl in the face whenever i see her on tv.  i would not be an impartial juror for this case, which makes me wonder how difficult it will be for this woman to get a fair trial by an impartial jury.  good luck, defense.  you’re fucked.

  ****

  but on a brighter note, A Christmas Story has its very own museum and museum gift shop where you can buy the leg lamp!  remember that?  “fra-JEE-lay.  i think it’s Italian.”   is that friggin nuts or what???  oh Santa, is there no end to your awesome ways?  i wonder if they sell the Little Orphan Annie Secret Decoder Ring. 

  check it out here. 

  • 10:18 am
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