November 12, 2009

• The Case for Remakes

  Hollywood has without a doubt gone bonkers over remakes.  there should be a unified and indignant cry of outrage at this clear indication of hollywood’s lack of respect for our collective sophistication.  the lazy bastards think we’re too simple to appreciate new and creative content!  let’s see what backshelf stores they’ve pilfered and recycled over the last few years.  Batman, The Hulk, Get Smart, Journey to the Center of the Earth, The Day the Earth Stood Still, Prom Night, Star Trek, Transformers, Race to Witch Mountain, The Taking of Pelham 123, Friday the 13th, The Stepfather, The Last House on the Left to name just a few.  and that doesn’t even get into the absurd saturation of unnecessary, franchise-killing sequels like Indiana Jones, Fast and the Furious, Transformers, Terminator and X-Men. 

  personally, i’m a huge fan of indie films, mainly because i see a lot more of the filmmaker’s personal fingerprints in the final cut, and that usually makes the film more creative, and fun to watch, even if the topic is the same as a conventional film.  there’s a lot of crap out there — i’ve seen plenty of that too, but there’s a lot of fresh stuff out there.  enough to make all these remakes irrelevant anyway.  but there are certain instances when a remake is called for, even necessary. 

  1.  special effects.  technology will always improve, therefore, films heavy with effects can always be improved.  the new Star Trek deviates from the original in spirit, but i don’t think anyone can deny the space effects are infinitely cooler and more easily watchable now with the new version. 

  2.  a truly new take on the original content.  sometimes the new film, even while based on old versions, will have an honestly new vision, and becomes a distinctly separate entity.  christopher nolan’s new Batman series qualifies here as a dramatic departure from the fantasy-land tim burton Batman.  it went from an almost campy (or does it just seem that way in retrospect?) comic into a darker deconstruction.  even something like the new Starsky and Hutch which was more a comedic send-up than a remake qualifies as worthy, in my book.

  3.  a revival of a forgotten work.  this is kind of a gray area, because who’s to say what’s really forgotten?  is it really forgotten if it’s remembered enough to remake it?  how can it be improved or at least not degraded by a new version?  very tricky stuff here, and i’m kind of wondering if this should be a qualifier at all.  i only know that few people in our generation really would have known or cared that there was an original The Taking of Pelham 123, had the original not been remade, right?  the remake gives an old property new life, which in an of itself is kind of worthy,  i guess, but is highly contingent on how good the final result is.  more so than the other two remake justifications. 

  films that fail the remake standards:  the new Hulk film really didn’t add anything to the content nor, strangely, did it add in the special effects department.  it was also re-created so close to the preceding version that you have to wonder how desperate the studios were to crank out a comic, any comic, film.  fail, fail and fail.  Get Smart, also, nothing new nor fresh, nor dazzling to look at (besides Anne Hathaway who, sorry to say, does not qualify as a special effect.) 

  a film that might be a worthy remake?  the upcoming Clash of the Titans!  i’m crossing my fingers.  the old one starred harry hamlin with his hair salon haircut alongside some goofy ass mechanical owl.  the new one here looks more rough and tumble as our hero battles — like really battles — the Gorgons, the Kraken and other greek fantasy crap.  the director also helmed the newest Hulk remake, which was a huge disappointment like i said, so that’s one strike against, but the cast seems interesting with Liam Neeson replacing Lawrence Olivier (wow!  really?  Lawrence Olivier??) as Zeus, Danny Huston and Ralph Fiennes. 

  the special effects definitely look like a huge improvement over the Mr. Bill claymation crapstravaganza the original used, and the look and feel of the film in general look more ass-kicking, dark and badass over the original “let’s run around in togas with our wtf-is-that-a-robot-owl?” prissiness of harry hamlin’s dimpled ass chin.  have a look.

  • 11:07 am
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