October 20, 2009
-
what would you do if you meet a great person, seems to have a nice, easy-going, cute personality, is easy enough to look at, shares common interests, etc, but they have… bad breath? like you don’t even have to be that close to their face. you just wiff it whenever they open their mouths to speak. and it’s not just after they’d been drinking or after a meal or after they just woke up or something. it’s all the time. is this a deal-breaker?
i can imagine one side thinking that this is just a natural occurrence that will take some getting used to, just like any other flaw. it can be overlooked. we’re only human after all. but there’s another side, a more instinctual side, that deep down might think this in particular might be hard to get over. things that smell nice seem to have reaching effects into a mood, right? if you walk into a house that just baked some cookies or banana bread? if you smell the subtle hints of perfume behind a girl’s neck? it reaches into your soul. likewise, something that smells rank can have an equally powerful effect, no? we might not think it, but doesn’t smelling something bad hint at something dirty? unclean? unhealthy to be near.
logical thinking should trump this prejudice, but, as Malcolm Gladwell pointed out, we’re instinctual animals, often using logic to supplement our instinctual choices rather than to overcome them. we’re only human after all indeed. and while i don’t assume everyone is super logical and dismisses bad breath as easy overlooked, i do think that at least some of you (like me?) might react with slight repulsion at the idea of being face-to-face with someone with bad-breath for all eternity.
next question, what would you do if you meet a great person, seems to have a nice, easy-going, cute personality, has sparkling fresh breath, shares common interests, etc, but they are… not so easy to look at. is it superficial and unacceptable to reject this person? if you knew someone who rejected this ugly duckling, would you consider them to be made of weak character? would you, yourself, be able to accept a fat, hairy, slob as your mate if all other signs were positive? if you think it’s unacceptable to categorize ugly looks as deal-breaker, did you also think bad breath was something superficial and easy to gloss over and ignore?
if a part of a person offends one sense, should another sense’s offense be no less important? is it ethically ok to rank senses? if so, what is the acceptable ranking and how did we come to that conclusion? remember: you can’t smell through your television or movie screen.
Comments (12)
i think it all boils down to your preference in the end. who cares what others think or what’s ethically right? if you can’t live with bad breath or an ugly face, then move on. i probably could not live with someone who had bad breath because my olfactory senses are pretty keen but also if you love someone then those are just minor details that can be overlooked most of the time.
maybe she needs to go see a doctor for her digestive problems or a dentist to get rid of plaque that might be causing her bad breath.
there are a lot of women (and some men) out there who deal with smoker’s breath. you can’t get rid of that unless they quit smoking. kissing a smoker is the worst too. lots of ppl live with that. maybe you can give her breath mints whenever you are together, hehe.
hahahahah! oh man… how ugly? if i had to choose between bad breath, and i’m not talking occasional morning breath, i’m talking level 4 gingivitis (i actually knew a girl in college that has such severe gingivitis that a tooth actually fell out, with no blood! and we always had to roll down the car windows when she was in it because the smell got so bad… and yet, she had a bf??)i would choose a great person who’s not so easy to look at, because i think looks are subjective. if everything else is perfect with the only exception being she doesn’t look like jessica alba, a girl like that is still pretty hard to come by, no? looks fade anyway, and a little makeover can do wonders.
can’t the bad breath be treated and cured though? she might actually have halitosis b/c i think that’s what chronic bad breath is called but i’m not sure. she can cure the problem by going to the dentist or doctor and get treatment for it. however, the girl that’s not so easy on the eyes…i think that poses a bigger problem for you b/c the only thing to cure that is if she visits a plastic surgeon, which is asking too much from a girl if you were to date her. so i think the bad breath girl trumps the not-so-attractive girl. the dentist or any doctor could probably cure her bad breath without too much trouble. problem solved!
you need to tell her she has bad breath. you’ll be doing her a favor. plenty of people get rejected for not being so easy to look at. yes it’s superficial but that’s reality…
First scenario. Buy them a sonic care. Tell them how much you love it.
Second scenario. Either be drunk all the time or get the fug out.
Btw, are you asking these questions “hypothetically” because you have bad breath and are not easy to look at?
@YJK76 -
@souxie -
@kjlee78 -
@sosuffocated -
@supanamja -
how to help them become better isn’t really the spirit of the question here. the question is what is immoral not to tolerate? what if the bad breath or ugliness were not correctable?
@MiracleMax -
Morals are relative.
you have to be attracted to the person you are dating. if you aren’t, then it’s immoral to settle and be with them.
Bad breath is generally a sign of poor hygiene or a medical condition. People have bad breath for a reason and usually that reason is something that can be fixed. If you are in love with them you should try to help them solve their medical problem that causes the bad breath. As to a persons physical unattractiveness that would be no problem for me. Fat and hairy? Well neither of those are unattractive to everyone. If he is wonderful in every other way then he will be more wonderful looking to me the more I learn to like his personality. Slob? now that is a personal issue that may cause problems later on for me it might be a problem because hygiene is important to me.
Always give the other person a chance. You never know, you might just have a change of heart.
I have a height fetish. And I met this guy who was as sweet as can be, smart, fun and easygoing…BUT he was short…only 2-3 inches taller than me. I really was not gonna have it. And I did not pursue him, but remained friends. Somehow, some way, he won my heart. And turns out, he is the best boyfriend that I have ever had. Would I give up all of that just because he is a bit on the short side? Hell no!
bad breath can be really foul and to me, a good enough reason to not continue seeing this person you’ve just met, but as others have mentioned, it is fixable. i don’t think it’s immoral to not tolerate EITHER of those issues from the get-go (bad breath or looks that don’t please you) — you are only human and want to be attracted to the person you’re with. however, with looks, positive experiences and the feeling of clicking with someone, truly connecting with him/her, could help you not notice their less-than-10 appearance after a while. bad breath, on the other hand, remains bad and foul unless the source of it is addressed and properly treated. so if you really want to rank this on a moral level (which is difficult to do and a bit problematic), then it MAY be a little more unacceptable if you didn’t even bother to give the “ugly duckling” a chance. that’s my own view.